Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
