threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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