Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
