Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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