What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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