Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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