found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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