For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
