You can't special order awesome
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
