I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
