Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
