sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
