is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
