its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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