tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
