I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
