She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
