Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
