When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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