i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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