You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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