He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
