hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I still have a little drunk in my system
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
