True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
