he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
