Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's blow job season.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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