butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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