Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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