their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
