How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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