guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
