Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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