we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
