Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
