When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So vagazzling was a success
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
