BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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