just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No subtext here. People are naked.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm having to shit out rocks
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
