I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
a search helicopter?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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