yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He shit in the fireplace
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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