God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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