We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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