Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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