I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
