don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
