My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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