My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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