She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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