I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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