The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
