You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
