forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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