Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
