like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
