I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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