You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My hand turned me down
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
