dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
