It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
did i walk over a car last night?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
